At The Edge of Existence, An Ocean
by Puck's Favourite Girl
Summary: *ENDGAME SPOILERS* Life has not been kind to Tony Stark. Death on the other hand, takes a liking to him. Tony waits to find peace. It's a bit of a longer process than he thought. Luckily for him, he has company.


The last thing Tony feels is Pepper's kiss on his forehead. Her lips are warm. Soft. Tender and slow. A goodbye sweeter than all the ones he'd imagined in his head. He's thought of this moment more times than he'd like to divulge.

He's thought about it when he remembered every fight he'd won by the skin of his teeth. He thought about it when he watched Peter jump to save the day, still young enough to believe in immortality and still eager to please, too idealistic to understand how blood stains never really leave. He's thought about it when he upgraded Rhodey's prosthetics, a fever dream tipping into the sunrise motivated by the desire to right a wrong so terrible it only fathered more. He's thought about it when his fingers stroked through Pepper's hair when they were alone, and he tried to memorize the way every strand felt against his skin. He thought about it most when he saw Morgan's face, the instant she was born, and knew that though he'd slowly learned to want to live, now he truly feared to die.

Tony Stark thought he knew death. But when opens his eyes, he realizes he never knew anything at all.

Death is the quiet flickering of the candle flame. Death takes inspiration from the deepest crevices of his mind. He's back in the cave. In an odd out-of body sensation, Tony thinks he should feel fear. But there's none of it in his heart. Only a quiet peace. A peace he hadn't felt in so long and had yearned for all these years that without prompting, tears spring to his eyes. He turns around and already knows who he will see and when Yinsen smiles at him, that gentle smile, like the heat of a hearth, Tony struggles not to fall right to his knees.

The cave is different, still cluttered with all their makeshift tools and plans. He can see the beginnings of the first Iron Man designs still on the table where he left them. The computer is flickering in the background. Everything is the same, but there's no sense of foreboding, no anxiety clenched tightly in his jaw, no yelling in the distance, the coming tide of a beating.

Yinsen's sitting at a little table, it comes up to his knees. He's sitting like he's been waiting to see him for a very long time. "Tony." he greets warmly and gestures to the seat across from him, "Tell me, how have you spent all the years we've been apart?"

Tony falls into the seat and feels the weight on his shoulders disappear as though they'd never settled there at all. There's a backgammon table between them and Yinsen shrugs his shoulders in apology. "I started the first move without you, I hope you don't mind."

"Efficiency is as efficiency does." Tony manages to say, rolling the two die in his hands.

They clatter against the board, ten moves. He slides his white pieces across the board as Yinsen hums his approval. "You've been practicing." he remarks.

"Some things I didn't want to forget." Tony replies, looking right at him.

Yinsen continues playing, waiting patiently for Tony to tell him the story of his life. "I died protecting the ones I loved the most." he finally says and it feels wrong somehow, to start with the end, but his end revealed the beginning. His true beginning anyway.

"I heard it was the universe." Yinsen comments wryly, shaking the die in his hands.

Tony shrugs, "Yeah. The universe. But it wasn't the universe's face I saw."

"And tell me, whose faces did you see? When you saved the world?"

The die roll across the board. A perfect twelve. Well, well, isn't he lucky. "My family's."

"Ah." Yinsen rolls and moves his pieces across the board, trapping one of Tony's in the fourth triangle. "So the man who had nothing finally found everything?"

Tony thinks of his team. Thinks of everything they'd been through, everything they'd lost and saved. He thinks of Nebula, alone on that ship with just each other. Tony thinks of Rhodey, laughing as he musses his hair. He thinks of Happy, throwing himself over Tony's body ruining a romantic moment. He thinks of Pepper, stronger than he'd ever be. His mind drifts and unable to help himself, his eyes shine with love. He thinks of Peter, noble, wonderful Peter. Harley, innovative and quick. His beautiful beautiful baby girl. His most incredible creation.

"Yeah. I found everything. They meant everything."

Yinsen slides more of his black pieces across the finish line.

"All of it." Tony swallows. "Everything I have, everything I gained. Every person I ever got the chance to save. It's all because you saved me that day. You saved my life. And I- I never got to say thank you. Not enough."

"It's ok. I heard you."

Tony's lip pulls, eyes shining. Yinsen reaches over and touches his hand. "Every prayer you sent up made it right to me. I know you're not a believer. So I thank you for the gesture."

"You don't have anything to thank me for." Tony shakes his head. "I should have saved you. I should have but I couldn't. I tried hard to make sure there was never anyone else."

Yinsen squeezes his hand. "I made my choice Tony. And I have no regrets. I got to see my family." Tony looks up, shocked and grateful, "It was wonderful."

"We all have our parts to play Tony. And I'm proud that one of my last moments helped end the Ten Rings' evil in my home." Yinsen slides his last piece out, looking at Tony with only a hint of a smirk, "You might be a genius, but you're still rusty Tony."

Tony laughs and it's watery but light, so, so light.

"Thank you." he says again, so utterly sincere. "For showing me how to be better." a beat, and then, "I hope I did better."

"You saved the world Tony Stark."

Behind him, Tony sees the door that used to keep him captive glowing, like there was something divinely bright bursting behind it, "Even more important, you loved and were loved by others. You didn't waste your life. Not a single second of it." Yinsen gets up, looking like he's going to leave.

"Wait- where are you going."

"To see my family. And you?"

"I don't- I-"

"The light is calling, I think you better answer it." Yinsen smiles at him one last time and Tony feels the gratefulness deep in his bones.

Tony was dying when he met Yinsen. And Yinsen fixed his heart with the battery and fixed his soul with his own. Their journey together gave Tony something he never had to even know he had lost. He found purpose that drove him to create a suit and save his city and then his country and then the entire world. His suit started the spark with Pepper. His suit led him to the Avengers. His suit led him to Peter. His entire life, cupped so tightly within his palms, traced back to that moment, in that exact moment where Yinsen showed him what true heroism looked like. When he gave him the chance to start again, the flame from which the phoenix was reborn.

Tony looks at Yinsen, now fading out of sight and smiles. "Thank you, old friend."

When Yinsen disappears, Tony walks through the glowing door, eyes shut, heart open.

When Tony opens his eyes, he sees a beach with the most golden sand he's ever seen. The sun is shining brilliantly and yet he isn't hot, just perfectly content. There's a bit of a breeze, the waves lapping the shore like chaste kisses. Death is Natasha, sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest, smiling at him in her usual coy way. "Hey shellhead."

Her voice bursts inside of him. It's beautiful.

He can't help but just stare at her. Soak in the bright red of her hair, back to her early Avengers day length, bouncy and short. He takes in the ease in her shoulders, the relaxed posture, the lack of paranoia in her eyes and knows he's looking at Natasha Romanoff at peace for the first time in her life. "Hey Nat. Missed me?"

And he's running to her.

They hug so tight he can feel her ribs press against his own, feel her smile against his neck. His arms around her feel like they leave too soon when they pull away, but to see her joy is worth it. "I don't think I've ever seen you this happy." he notes, laughing as she swats his arm.

"Well I'm a lot less happy now that I know I'm spending eternity with walking one-liner Tony Stark."

"Hey- you love my liners."

"I plead the fifth." she mimes zipping her lips shut and Tony can't help but stare, disgustingly fond.

"I always said we'd be best friends in another life." it comes out of his mouth without him really meaning to say it.

She looks surprised, but just ducks her head, leaning back against her hands, sand running over her fingers. "You mean without all the fighting and the hurting and the rules?"

Tony makes a face, "Yeah all that stuff and all the other stuff. SHIELD maybe. Our pasts. Everything probably."

She looks at him, like she's assessing him. "You know I love you right? I'd never had a home before you guys."

Tony holds her gaze and slowly, she leans her head against his shoulder. He wraps an arm around her, pulling her close. "Yeah. I know. You know I know." he drops a kiss on the top of her head, "You were my family too. And you can't ever really leave family can you." she hums in agreement.

They sit in silence for a while, just watching the water sparkle and enjoying having nowhere to be and nothing to do. It's serenity in a way neither of them had ever experienced.

"I wish you didn't have to do what you did." Tony finally says, the words that had laid quiet in his heart now open to the world.

He remembers being on that dock, watching Bruce throw the bench into the water, feel Thor's rage brimming off him in waves, the quiet grief in Steve's tears and the guilt that festered inside Clint that would never really go away. He remembers wanting to do right by Natasha. Of mourning for his old-found family and the one Natasha had to leave behind.

"It had to be done." she answers, and it's almost nonchalant, but Tony can hear the lilt in her voice.

"Maybe. Didn't make it any less hard. Coming back and seeing you still gone was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to deal with. You deserved better Nat." he wraps his arm around her tighter, "But you saved the world. And I hope that brings you some peace."

She pulls away, eyes glistening, a hope Tony knows comes hard won desperate to shine through. "You did it? You brought them back?"

"Every last one." he confirms and he watches as her joy turns into relief turns into full on tears.

"Then it was worth it." she smiles though she trembles. "It was worth it."

"Yeah." Tony nods, thinking of Peter's face when he reappeared, "It was worth it all."

Natasha's still shaking and there's something Tony wants to say. Something he hopes desperately that Natasha knows. And more importantly, believes. "Natasha. Without you, the world would be a worse place. You helped the kids who lost their parents in the first snap and you were the one who helped make the second snap happen to bring them all back. And then the third one to make all the bad guys disappear. There's no more red on your ledger Natasha." Tony swishes his hand in the air like he was wiping it all away, smiling gently as the tears run down Natasha's face harder. "You've got a clean slate."

She shakes her head. "I could've done more. I could've-"

Tony pulls her in again, stroking her hair. "You did enough." he thinks of Pepper, hopes she knows that her wisdom transcends even the boundary of life and death, "You can rest now."

She cries into his shoulder, a heavy rhythm before she stops, looking up at him with sad eyes. "Wait, if it worked…" she looks at him, heartbroken, "Oh Tony."

"You have no idea how many times I hear that in a day." he quips and it works, a little, to lighten the mood.

Natasha's mouth flicks up almost uncontrollably and she looks at him sadly for a just a moment before she nods.

Acceptance is always our final resting stop. "A hero right till the end huh?"

"Yeah, we're pretty great. Really saved everyone's asses."

Natasha rolls her eyes. Moment gone. "And there's that heroic sense of modesty you're so known for."

"Excuse you. I defeated Thanos' army. _Twice_. I think I'm entitled to a little bragging."

"Oh my God. Eternity with this." Natasha groans comically loud.

Tony wags his brows, "That's right Romanoff, eternity with allll of this." he stands up gesturing to himself and she chucks sand at his chest, laughing like she had never had a single worry in her entire life.

"There are worse eternities than this." she concedes.

"Well Miss. Romanoff, shall we go on and explore the after-life?" Tony holds out his hand and Natasha only looks at him for a moment before taking it.

"Anything in particular you're hoping to see?"

Tony purses his lips. "I for one, am expecting to meet Freddie Mercury. He has to be around here somewhere."

The sun sets behind them, a trail of gold across a sweet summer sky. The light makes Natasha's hair glow like a halo. Faintly, he thinks he can hear the sound of Beethoven playing on the piano. It reminds him of his mother and there's the tiniest pang of longing in his heart. But Natasha is laughing into her hand and Tony's heart feels full again.

Yeah, Tony thinks. There are worse eternities than this.

Death is being the welcomer of the new. Tony's settled now. He can pay his dues. His first attempt comes too soon but he can't help but smirk when he sees Steve Rogers step into the Avengers Compound looking dazed. He looks like he's always looked to Tony, strong and clean-shaven and righteous.

Steve looks at Tony like he's just found religion.

"Hey Cap. I see you took my advice." Tony gestures to the wedding band around Steve's finger.

Steve still looks a little choked up but tries to banter along with him anyway.

Tony appreciates that.

"Well, it brought you a lot of joy, so I thought, hey, why not give it a try."

Steve takes four giant strides towards him like he wants to hug him, but he stops, staring at him with apologetic eyes. Tony looks right back. "Cat got your tongue?"

Steve smiles, but it's broken and small. "I wondered, if there really was something after we died. And if there was, where I would end up." he shakes his head, "I should have known death would bring me right back to you."

Tony tilts his head. "Yeah? Why's that?"

"I've tried to do the right thing my whole life. And in the end, the one I did the most wrong to was you. You were right Tony. About sticking together. About the endgame. There were so many other things that were important to me at the time, things I couldn't let go of and I don't regret protecting Bucky but I- there could've been another way. There _should_ have been another way. And I'm sorry."

Tony stares, wide-eyed.

"I'm sorry for not listening to you when you tried telling us about what you saw. I realize now, how afraid you were. And we- _**I**_ should have paid more attention. Maybe if I had done that…then you wouldn't have…"

Tony raises a hand, "What's done is done Steve." and the use of his name, his real name, without the nicknames and banter or the cold use of his last name, makes Steve's expression shake. "But thank you."

"It all worked out in the end. We found peace." Tony looks meaningfully at the ring. "You definitely found peace." he jokes, "So are you going to fill me in or what? I haven't heard good gossip in ages."

"It's a long story." Steve laughs.

"Well lucky for us, all we have is time- wait, oh God tell me I didn't lose the bet with Nat. Your love life is our most expensive gamble."

Steve laughs harder, throwing his head back. "Oh great. More pestering. But I'm pretty sure you both lost."

Tony smirks. "So you _didn't_ go back in time to see Peggy?"

Steve gapes. "How did you-"

Tony sighs like everything in the world is just one giant burden. "Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Or did you forget my iconic line?"

"You're pretty unforgettable Tony."

Tony's heart clenches. And unbidden, he remembers what he said to Natasha. That very first time.

_In another life, I always thought we'd be best friends_.

Maybe this was their chance. Their opportunity to do right by each other. Not a do-over. But painting over their life with a brush of acceptance. Of gratitude. Of loving the other despite their faults and mistakes. Maybe now they could heal the wounds they'd all inflicted on each other and be a real family.

Tony thinks he might be onto something. When they all reunite, he knows he's right.

When Steve sees Natasha again, he cries.

Sometimes, when he's not really paying attention, in a daze between present and not, Tony thinks he hears piano. The notes flow beautifully, blending in together in a symphony that makes him close his eyes and immerse himself in the music, swaying with the rhythm. He asks Natasha one day, if she hears it too. But she gives him a strange look and he feels in his heart that he should keep the piano to himself.

Together, the three of them wait for the end of time. It's not a bad life. He dares say it's a pleasant one. Dewy. Soft.

"What are we doing here?" Steve asked once.

Tony shrugged, "Just messing around really. But mostly waiting."

Steve nodded. "But what happens when what we're waiting for happens?"

Natasha pointed to the middle of the ocean. There was, and still is, a door right above the waves. "You go in there."

"And what's over there?"

"It's where you rest." Tony said.

"But we don't have to go yet do we?"

Natasha shook her head. "We have time Steve. We can wait as long as we want."

Steve sighed. Sinking into the sand. "That's good. That's really good. We never seemed to have enough time."

And the three of them wait. And it's good. Nice. Because they're together and there's no big bad world trying to pull them all apart.

Death is comfort. Nebula comes onto the beach lost and confused and angry. But Tony knows the anger is to cover up the fear. When she catches sight of his face, she twists around as though someone's playing a joke on her, before looking back at him, apprehension written all over her face. "You're dead." she accuses.

Tony shrugs. "So are you."

Nebula's eyes go round, she looks at her chest, poking it as if something was missing. "I was stabbed." she says slowly.

Tony walks up to her, sympathy in the slant of his brows. "I'm sorry Blue. You deserved a happier way to go."

She juts her chin out in defiance. "I protected my sister. That's a worthy way to go."

Tony glances around. "Considering she isn't here. I suppose that means you saved her. I'm proud of you."

And Nebula's expression crumples and Tony hopes that she's heard those words a million times over since he last saw her on Earth. He reaches out to her slowly, in case she wants to pull away, but she accepts his hug with shaking arms, like she isn't quite sure what to do with them. "You can wait for her here if you want. Or you can go. You can go anywhere if you just think it hard enough. But you don't have to really leave until she comes."

She pulls away almost gruffly, smoothing out her clothes. Tony holds out his arms. "It'll be just like old times. Me, you, and empty space."

Nebula cracks a smile. "I don't mind. Staying here with you. Maybe we can play that game again?" she asks, voice slightly small.

She's accepted she's dead pretty quick. But Nebula's always had this day in the back of her mind, just waiting for it. The thought makes Tony's heart pang. But he knows that he at least could make sure she walked into death with someone who loved her.

"I can teach you real football. It'll be great." Tony promises.

"And my sister? Gamora will come here?"

"If she doesn't, you'll appear to where she needs you to be. Don't worry."

Nebula nods. "Okay."

"So this is what happens when you're dead?" she doesn't sound impressed and Tony can't help but laugh.

"It's not much. But I think you'll like it here." Nebula looks unconvinced, but when she gets into step with him, he knows she wants to believe him.

They're walking across the sand when Nebula looks at him and he can see that old fondness back inside her eyes. "I'm happy I got to see you again."

"Me too kid."

She's quiet for the length of their walk, keeps looking at him from the corner of her eye. He decides to break the silence, he thinks she has something to say but doesn't quite know how to say it yet. "You still have that gold piece in huh? From my old helmet?"

Unconsciously, her fingers reach to caress her face. "I think the gold suits me. And Morgan seemed to like it."

Tony blinks. He doesn't know why he thought Nebula wouldn't have anything to say about those they left behind. But he didn't expect that.

He didn't expect that at all.

"Yeah?" he asks, and he can hear how scratchy his voice is, he feels like he's underwater.

"We kept in touch after you…after you died. She's a very sweet girl. One of the better ones."

"Gets that from her mom."

"Funny." Nebula says, "Pepper says she gets it from you."

And Tony swallows hard so he doesn't start to cry.

When Rhodey appears, he doesn't look confused at all. He stands like he's known this moment would come all along and was just waiting for it to arrive. He hugs Tony tight, squeezes his shoulders. "I knew I'd find you." he says.

Tony grips on just as tight. "You always do."

There's an ocean inside Tony that he's never been able to express to Rhodey before in his entire life. Rain drops would trickle from his lips where he wanted to give him the sea but now, he's walked past the veil of the living and the things he used to worry about stop being worrisome.

"You've never given up on me. Even when everyone else left, you've always stuck it out with me." Tony pulls away and he hopes Rhodey knows the depth of his feelings, how much sincerity builds up each word, "For a long time, you were my only friend and throughout everything, the fuck-ups and the almost dying and the-" he waves his hand in the air, "various disasters, you've been the _best_ friend. I couldn't have done any of it without you." And Rhodey looks like just the smallest breath will send him falling.

"Quit talkin' like you aren't my best friend too. I love you Tones. That's why I put on the suit in the first place." Rhodey says, firm and unwavering.

"Did you keep wearing it? After everything?" And Tony's curious because he can see it either way and has no idea what Rhodey might have chosen. 

Rhodey shakes his head, smiling that little small smile. "Nah. It was time for the old leagues to retire. A new generation came through. Man." he shakes his head again, "You would be so proud of him Tony." and Tony's heart aches, "That kid of yours? He was incredible. Still is."

How can Tony express that he was proud of Peter right from the beginning. That despite fretting over it, he loved his idealistic approach, his optimism, his belief in people. Tony always knew Peter would be better than them all. He'd always known it. Since the second he met him.

But the kid still gets into all sorts of trouble and he cringes just thinking about it. "Tell me he learned from all my mistakes." Tony's groaning just thinking about all the bumps and scrapes Peter must've gotten into over the years but Rhodey just snorts.

"Oh he learned from you alright. Self-sacrificing idiot."

Tony looks aghast. But Rhodey claps his shoulder and squeezes. "He's alright. He's more than alright. And he's never forgotten you, in case you were having your usual annoying doubts."

Tony tries to pretend that doesn't matter. But it does. It matters so much. "I wish I got to say more to him." he admits. "There's so much I would tell him. So many things he deserved to hear."

And it feels good to finally talk about a regret. Refreshing.

Rhodey has kind eyes. "He knows all the important stuff Tones. That's what matters."

Tony thinks of Peter's face, open and pure and noble. The love overflows in his heart and he hopes he doesn't see him for a long, long time, but also can't wait for the moment he does. He misses him. So much. But now isn't the time. Not yet.

And Tony's gotten good at waiting. So he shakes his head, ready to delve into something new. "So, it's been what, thirty years? Give me the rundown platypus."

"Well, I had a daughter. Lila. You would've loved her…"

Life ends for us all someday. Sometimes we're ready and sometimes we're not. Death is letting Tony embrace the people he loves one by one. He appears one day and he's in his old office, back when he was CEO of SI. Deep in his bones, he knows what this moment is and though part of him mourns her passing in the land of the living, the other is so fundamentally happy he has to force himself not to rip through the door himself to find her.

Pepper walks in looking not a day older than thirty. She looks stunning. Always has. "Tony?" her voice breaks, hands flying to her mouth.

And Tony has no quips, no commentary, no witty greeting. He just has her name at his lips and the intense need to hold her, greater than anything he'd ever known. He runs to her, scoops her up in his arms and twirls her around laughing into her hair. When she looks into his eyes he sees her grief and her love and her heartbreaking shock and kisses her the next moment, so enraptured by everything of her. Holding her is the world. It is beauty and wonder and love and greatness and gratitude. He kisses her, again and again like making sure she is real and he loves her. The first and the last woman he'd ever been in love with. The only one for him.

God he loves her.

"I missed you." he says, face buried in her neck.

"I missed you too. God Tony. I-have you been here all this time?" she says, pulling away, hands still cupping his face, stroking his jaw line like she was reading a prayer.

"Couldn't leave without seeing you could I?" he smirks and she's laughing into his mouth, kissing him through her tears.

He tells her about everyone else who's still waiting for their own people with him and they decide to go away for a while. Just them. Just together. They end up on the softest rooftop, as though it was made of a million feathers. The stars scatter across the sky and sparkle more brilliantly than they ever had on earth. Far away from everything, the beauty of the cosmos no longer seems cold and terrifying, but miraculous and vast. Shooting stars dance across the inky sky and Tony feels in his heart that he needs no wishes. Not a single one. Everything he's ever needed is right in his arms and everything else will arrive when it's time.

He hears the piano. It starts quietly, then grows into a crescendo that fills the sky with passion and longing. It's a dramatic beauty that colours over the entire moment and he feels overrun with feelings, bursting with adoration. He looks at Pepper and her eyes are misty as she looks across the horizon as though searching for the source of the sound. "You hear it too?" he whispers, finally able to share the mystery.

She turns to him, lip pulling in a watery smile as she presses a kiss to his brow. "Yeah. I hear it. It's beautiful."

"Yeah. It is."

She looks like she wants to say something more, but she shakes her head slightly, ducking her face against his shoulder. He leaves her to her thoughts. She'll say whatever she needs to with time. For now, they could just watch the stars leave contrails that glitter in the sky and hold each other while a symphony plays for them.

Bucky arrives with Sam. They went out in a fiery explosion, saving the day together. When Steve sees them, and how close they've become, his soul feels truly at rest. Tony watches with happy eyes as the three of them walk through the door together. He hopes they're happy. He knows they're at peace. Natasha sheds a few nostalgic tears as they leave and Tony bumps her shoulder with his. "Ready to move on?"

"Not yet."

"It hasn't been bad huh? For us?"

She leans into him, wrapping her arms around his middle. "It's been great Tony. I'm starting to believe it now. That I was good in the end."

Tony knows she doesn't want to hear assurances. She knows what he has to say. So he squeezes her shoulder and they just watch the ocean together. Like how they first started.

When Clint comes, he can't maintain his tough guy façade for longer than a second when he sees Natasha. He cups her face, hands shaking as he stares at her like he can't believe his eyes. And then he's kissing her, both cheeks and then something adoring on her forehead. He grips her tight and Tony's expected Natasha to cry but she just looks happy. Utterly happy. "Told you it'd be okay." she jokes and Clint just looks at her and laughs.

Natasha has that look in her eye that Tony's already seen before in Steve's. She's going to leave too. Something pangs in his heart. He's going to miss her. Terribly so. Like a bit of his soul is etching away. Natasha was his afterlife and now she's moved on.

But he wants this for her.

She deserves it.

She deserves the world.

Together, the seven of them sit and laugh and cook foods they've never heard of before. Tony wonders how long it'll all last, but he sees Natasha's wistful looks at the door and knows it's time before she even tells him. She comes to meet him at their spot, at the moment they found each other again.

It's almost like déjà vu but opposite. He's sitting, knees pulled up to his chest, staring at the golden flecks in the sea. He smiles up at her, "Hey Nat."

"Hey shellhead."

She settles in next to him, nudging his shoulder with his. "You know. I've never gotten bored of this view. It's the same thing every time and yet, I can't stop looking at it."

Tony hums. "Yeah I know what you mean. It's weird." he shrugs, "But we're dead so this is all weird."

She snorts, digging her feet deeper into the sand. "I'm glad it was you." she declares, resting her chin on her arm so she could look up at him with fond eyes. "I think it was meant to be this way. Is that weird?"

"No." the wind blows through Tony's hair and he knows he should be feeling loss but he isn't. It isn't like that anymore. "I'm glad it was you too. There may have been worse eternities, but there couldn't have been better."

He smiles at her and she smiles back and the sun is dipping over the horizon like that first day. "I'm glad you can rest now." he says quietly.

"I finally accepted it. Losing that first time. Seeing everyone disappear. But everyone is alive now. And I… I helped do that." she squeezes his hand, "I've finally cleared my ledger." her smile is watery with gratitude, "For the first time in my life, I left behind something that wasn't death."

Tony hugs her close. "You brought back life."

They sit until the sky melts into the dark and Tony feels himself nod off on Natasha's shoulder. "You know I love you right?" he mumbles but he isn't sure it's real. Faintly, he feels her lips against his brow as she sets him gently down. He hears her walk away, but it might have been just a dream.

When he wakes up, Natasha and Clint are gone.

His forehead is still warm.

_Yeah I know. You know I know. _

Tony waits a long time for his first kid to arrive. Harley appears and Tony finds himself in that old garage, before he retrofitted it beyond any kid's wildest dreams. Tony plops on the couch, leg up over his knee and arms spread across the top like he owned the place and waits. The garage door slides open hesitantly and then all at once. It clatters against the wall and Harley takes one look at him and swears. "Holy shit I knew it."

And in three strides he's flopped on Tony in a bear hug and Tony's laughing so hard his shoulders shake. "You better have known it. We're connected." he sing-songs and Harley blushes, pulling away to sit across from him on the couch, legs crossed.

"Hey- don't go pulling up embarrassing stuff I said when I was ten."

"Have you looked at yourself? You look what, max eighteen? There's a reason the afterlife reverted you back to this age." Tony teases and laughs harder when Harley jumps up, touching his face and his chest in shock.

"Oh my God I'm young again."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear. That you died of old age peacefully in your sleep."

Harley makes a face, looking guilty, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Um…about that."

"_No_."

"It wasn't my fault!"

But Tony's giving him a hard look and Harley sighs, kicking the ground with his scuffed sneaker. "There was this guy and he was driving really fast and he was gonna hit this girl and her kid or something so I tried to push them out of the way but-" he shrugs, "it be like that sometimes."

"Oh _kid_." Tony says and Harley raises his hands up defensively, "Hey! I was almost fifty though!"

Tony just grabs his shoulder and squeezes. "You did good kid. You did good."

"Well, you know me." Harley tries to joke, "Trying to set a good example."

"Wow, Harley Keener, a role model to his sister." Tony mimes wiping a tear, "Who knew the day would come."

"Hey!" Harley pushes off, "I resent that! And it's two sisters thank you very much. I've gotten attached to your kid. She's cooler than you by a long shot."

Tony's heart glows. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Well did you know that I took over SI's R&D department? We made this ridiculously cool renewable power core and it basically revolutionized the energy industry." Harley brags and it's so entertaining, Tony settles right in.

They chat for what seems like forever, though Tony's tasted forever and he knows it's a lot longer when Harley stops and softens. "I wanted to say thanks you know? For keeping in touch with me after you left. It uh- well- it meant a lot you know? And I got to meet Peter through you and Morgan and I love them a helluva lot more than I thought I would. Especially that dweeb." he shakes his head, smiling.

"You taught me how to fix things." Harley flashes an awkward smile, shooting him a pair of finger guns, "So thanks mechanic man. You changed my life or whatever." he mumbles and Tony snorts, ruffling his hair.

"Ok so you evidently still haven't learned the more delicate side of emotions. But hey, better than triggering a panic attack."

"Hey! I said I was sorry! What more can I doooo?"

Harley stays with him after that. Tony isn't sure what he's waiting for. But Harley doesn't feel like it's his time to go yet. And Tony's happy to have him.

Truly happy.

Tony blinks and when he looks, he's on a rooftop in the middle of New York City. He can see Stark Tower from here and it's funny that it still says Stark instead of the Avengers 'A'. He almost doesn't want to turn around when he hears the sharp intake of breath behind him. His heart almost can't bear it. He doesn't know if he'll be able to look at his face and not break down that very second. But he hears a choked, "Mr. Stark?" and he turns instinctively, all of heaven and earth couldn't have stopped him.

Tony's had half of forever to think about it and he still doesn't know how Peter makes a formality sound more endearing than any nickname. Peter has tears running down his cheeks and he's shaking his head. "Are you- is this-"

"I'm real kid. Realer than I'll ever be." Tony wipes away Peter's tears with the pads of his thumbs. "You grew up." he whispers, taking in the pronounced jaw line, the breadth of his shoulders, the wisdom in his eyes.

"Look at you." he says, and he's filled with so much pride. More than he knows what to do with.

"I was hoping I'd see you next." Peter says and he falls into Tony, clutching tightly to the back of his shirt. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too bud. More than you know." Tony hopes Peter can feel the weight of his love in the grip of his arms.

Tony's fingers move through Peter's hair like he had been imagining for so long. His love bursts at the seams, he presses a kiss against his cheek, hugging him tighter. Peter laughs as his lips brush his face, burying his face into the crook of Tony's neck. But there's something eating at Tony, so many regrets he now has the chance to rectify. He pulls away and almost smiles when Peter's fingers tighten around him like he isn't ready to let go.

"Peter." he starts, and the kid's looking up at him with such wide eyes, a breath away from scared, a breath away of not being able to let go.

But he's not a kid anymore is he? He's grown up into a man. He can see it in the way he carries himself now, no longer awkward but confident and assured. He sees it in the scars that peek out from his collar. He sees it in everything about him. But when Peter looks at him, all Tony can see is that same teenage kid he grew to love so much. More than he thought he could love at all.

"I'm proud of you kid. You were incredible, when everything was going down." Peter's still staring at him like he can't tear his eyes away and Tony can't help but brush his cheek, "And I should have told you that more when I was still around. And that I love you. But I heard that you blew them all away. And I knew you would. I always knew you'd be the best of us."

Tony's hand falls. "I just hope you knew, even though I never got to say it. How much you meant to me. That when everything went to hell, the thing that kept me going was you."

"I knew." Peter's expression wobbles but he's smiling through it all, trying his hardest. "And it was-" he shakes his head, "God it was so hard to try and go on thinking that _you_ were the one who didn't know how much you meant to _me_ but then I-" he grins and there's such a pure joy in his face it makes Tony want to cry, "I had my own kids and they looked at me like how I used to look at you and I knew that we never had to say anything. We both felt it anyway."

Tony's eyes widen, heart beating. "Peter that's- that's insane. A kid having kids. Impossible."

And Peter's laughing, wiping at his eyes. "Oh man you have no idea- I mean, obviously you have an idea. You're a dad but wow Mr. Stark- they're so _hard_. I have super strength and I'm still? I'm always so tired!"

Tony's snorting, patting him on the back. "Yup. True fatherhood. It's the best." he says, looking right at Peter.

Peter smiles shyly, ducking his head. "Yeah. It really is. I uhh, I named one of my sons after you."

Tony can't breathe. "What?"

Peter rubs the back of his neck, "Yeah, Anthony Parker. He's really into soccer and he grew up catching bugs and he even brought home a bunch of turtles once." Peter laughs, "He's a biologist now. And he loved hearing stories about his name-sake. And what can I say? I loved telling them."

Peter grins and Tony sees the adult past the child. "Telling stories was the one way I could remember you that didn't hurt. Losing you was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through but eventually…it got easier, to you know…to remember you and focus on how much I loved you and all the good you taught me rather than…everything else. Morgan showed me that."

"You guys swap stories about your old man? Should I be scared?"

Peter's eyes glitter as he laughs. "Hey hey hey. You still win the title for most embarrassing story teller. I'm still not over that one time with May."

"Wow. A million years later and you're still holding grudges? That's sad Parker."

"What can I say? It was really up there on the trauma scale."

Peter looks like he's enjoying the moment before he stops just to look at Tony again and Tony knows the feeling. Of double checking. Of drinking in the moment. Soak up every last ounce of it. "Hey." he says softly, "We got forever to sit around stare at each other."

Peter's lip quirks up. "Sorry. Just missed you for a second." he shrugs, "Habit I guess."

Tony claps an arm around his shoulders, pressing another kiss into his hair. "So you gonna tell me all your super cool not-at-all dangerous adventures now that I'm at no risk of a heart attack?"

Peter lights up. "You're never gonna _believe_ what Morgan, Harley, and I did once Mr. Stark it was _crazy._"

And the two of them sit on that rooftop, legs dangling over the sides because there was no fear of falling and Peter still rambles just like he used to and his hands still fly as he talks and Tony drinks it all in, not wanting to lose out on a second.

His soul is almost at peace.

It's almost time.

Suddenly, the piano plays again and Peter stops mid-sentence, eyes wide. "No way." he whispers.

Tony blinks. "First you, then Pepper. And here I was thinking I was going crazy up here."

Peter can't tear his eyes away from the sky but finally turns to look at him with the oddest expression in his eye. "Not crazy Mr. Stark. Just really, really loved."

Peter and Harley are insufferable together. Now that they've figured out the rules of the after-life they're constantly blowing things up in their imagined lab and every so often, Tony hears a boom in the distance and just groans for as long as he can. If he could still die, those kids would be the death of him.

But as it is, death is just waiting. Or maybe it's kindness. Death gives Tony time. It gives him forgiveness. It gives him love. Death is kinder to Tony than life ever was but he can't fault the latter for it. With hardship comes ease.

Tony just never thought he would get to receive it.

But he remembers Natasha. And thinks that maybe Death gives different gifts depending on the person. And that what Natasha needed was proof that she was a hero right until the end. Proof that she was good, even though the whole entire world knew it before her. And Tony then? What did he need?

His answer comes when he walks into his final house, the foundation of his marriage and his family. He walks through the door, feels his mouth curve into the most nostalgic of smiles as he glances over the kitchen when he gave Morgan her first taste of solid food, the living room where she rolled over for the first time, the stairs she jumped two at a time when she was excited. He walks up the stairs, peeks into his bedroom and remembers Pepper, beautiful even in the morning. There's a noise in the other bedroom, someone sliding something up. There is silence, and then the most beautiful piano playing he's ever heard.

Tony's eyes widen. He opens the door.

There's a girl, maybe twenty or so, sitting back straight at the piano, her fingers gliding over the keys like it's effortless. She tilts her head and smiles. Oh God she's grown. It's been eternity and a half and finally, he gets to see his daughter again. His talented, wonderful, incredible daughter. And Tony sees now, why everyone says she's his copy. Morgan Stark looks just like him.

She has his eyes, thick-lashed and expressive, his dark hair that tumbles over her shoulders, his nose that moves when she smiles. He expects her to come running, but she pats the space next to her on the bench and beckons him over. "Come play with me daddy."

Tony's fingers fall into place as though he'd been playing for years. Together, their music harmonizes into the most precious of sounds and Tony's eyes film over. "Have you- have you been playing for long?" he finally asks.

"I started right after you left. I practiced really, really hard and I got into Juilliard and I traveled in the symphonies and I started composing and everyone said I was just like you. I created something from nothing." she grins and Tony sees the four-year old inside her, goofy and sweet. "I played for you a lot. I hoped that you could hear me, wherever you were."

The tears roll down his cheeks helplessly and yet his fingers don't stop playing. "I heard you." God it's hard to speak, "I heard you. It was beautiful. You're so talented. My little prodigy."

"Well I am my father's daughter."

And finally Morgan slips her hands off the keys and launches into him. "I missed you three-thousand dad."

And Tony cries harder, clutching onto her with a million apologies. God he left her. How could he ever have left her. His darling girl. "I'm so sorry." he cries, "I'm sorry I left you. I never wanted to."

"I know." she says, quiet, "I know. And I was mad. For a little while. After I was done being sad. But I get it now. I've made peace with the hero inside you. And I love you, maybe in spite of it, maybe for it. I don't know. But I love you dad. How could I not?"

And as though she had always been there, Pepper rushes into their embraces and Tony holds on tightly to his family, his entire heart, and he knows now, what he's been trying to find. Rhodey grew a family and watched over Tony's own. Nebula found a home. Steve married his only one. Pepper lived a long and happy life. Harley fulfilled his dreams. Peter grew up into the best of men. Morgan flourished. Everyone he worried about left their lives happy, at peace, fulfilled in every way.

They were okay.

And Tony spends many a sunset with all his children together, with his entire family together and enjoys a look at what could have been, had their lives been touched by peace rather than war. But he knows in his heart that the ones he loves had all rebuilt their lives into something wonderful, something grand. And when the sun sets over the ocean, he wades into the water and slowly rises until his feet walk above the waves. His fingers curl around the knob, he looks back and finds that everything is gone, behind him is only Death.

"Thank you." Tony says.

Death doesn't say a word.

The door opens, it glows with the light of the cosmos.

Everything is okay.

He can rest now.


End file.
